Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Getting it Together

In one of my favorite scenes in the movie "Bridget Jones's Diary," Bridget (Renee Zellweger) is going on "a full-blown minibreak holiday" with her boyfriend Daniel Cleaver (Hugh Grant). As they set off on their English countryside adventure in Daniel's convertable, Bridget, having a moment of glamour in an elegant headscarf and large sunglasses, says that she feels, "like a screen goddess, in the manner of Grace Kelly." But then she throws her head back into the wind, and her fancy headscarf goes flying off. When she shows up at their countryside destination, her hair is matted and windblown, sticking straight up out of her head. So elegant.

Maybe one of the reasons I love that movie so much is because that's totally something I would do. My own elegant, prepared for anything, with-it moments are always ruined somehow by my inelegance and clumsiness (and in some cases, downright stupidity). Most of the time I feel like I just can't quite get it together. Or, as Bridget says in the film, "it seems as though when one area of your life is going spectacularly, another falls spectacularly flat."

This morning, for example. Despite having to send out a search party to locate my husband's keys at 6:30 this morning (they were in the garage), I actually got out the front door on time. My clothes were ironed for a change, my hair was cooperating nicely despite the cold, my snacks and water for work had been packed the night before. But then I stepped outside to find my car windows covered in ice, and my morning began to unravel. I found myself thinking, "dammit, I forgot to buy an ice-scraper!" for the third time this week. In a pinch, I used my Harris Teeter VIC card to scrape the ice off my windows (it works, don't knock it!), but by the time I got around to the back window, my fingers were frozen solid in my (hole-filled) soaking wet gloves.

Naturally, I needed coffee to warm them up. Last day of work this week - perfect day for a Starbucks treat, right? So I climbed in my now ice-free car and rolled to Starbucks for my weekly Mocha. But, I managed to park in a space that was covered in glass, on which I slipped getting out of the car. Once I got inside and ordered, I proceeded to spill the entire contents of my purse all over the floor, scrambling around on my hands and knees and bumping into my fellow caffeine-craving patrons as I picked it all up. When I got my mocha, I promtply spilled some of it on myself. Of course, it was extra-hot. I nearly got into an accident getting onto I-40. Then I got to the parking lot at work (where I actually got a good space for a change) in time to watch the bus drive away to leave me waiting in the cold for the next one. I stumbled into work 15-minutes late, covered in coffee, hair now frizzy and windblown, gloves soaking wet, and wishing I were back at home in my warm pajamas watching brain-rotting morning television.

It's like Hubris and Nemisis are always playing tricks with me. I get it together in one area and my self-confidence goes up, only to be knocked away spectacularly when I come unraveled. Some days I feel like Super Mommy - I wake up, get my boys and myself out the door on-time, go through the daily work-gym-dinner-bedtime juggling act, and fall into bed with a smile on my face. Only to wake up the next day and realize my clothes aren't ironed, my keys are nowhere to be found, and I forgot to make coffee the night before.

I envy those "together" women who seem to never falter. You know the ones I'm talking about - the ladies with perfect manicures who never have lipstick on their coffee cups (or their teeth), whose clothes always match, shoes are never scuffed, hose always without runs. They're always armed with the answer to every question, a witty comeback at exactly the right moment, and they carry themselves with enviable ease, elegance, and grace. Do they ever have Bridget Jones moments? Or do they just cover them up better than the rest of us?

As I construct my "50 Things About Myself" list (challenge #2), one of my "Improve Myself" items is to work on my "with-it-ness." Maybe one day someone might find me one of those "together women." But, to even it out, another of those 50 items is to learn to embrace the imperfections. I may have more loveably goofy Bridget Jones moments than the average woman, but the truth is that we all have them. And maybe the most "together" women are the ones who can have the clumsy moments and still hold their heads up smiling.

Here's to remembering that the next time I glide into a room like Grace Kelly, only to trip over the doorframe like Bridget.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

One Down, 100 To Go!


When I was in California last month, I got to catch up with Liz, one of my oldest friends. As we were walking along the beach in Coronado (which is fantastic, btw), she started telling me about the Twilight series, and how I needed to read them. I had heard of the books, of course - you can't walk into Barnes & Noble without running into a huge display of them - but I was admittedly very skeptical because I thought a "vampire series" just wasn't my thing. But when the hype around them continued to grow (probably thanks in large part to the movie, which comes out tomorrow), I kept hearing the same sentiment from everyone: "They're fantastic!" So I decided I'd make reading the first book in the series one of my challenges since it'd be a bit of a stretch for me book-wise. But even after I got the book (purchased for me, not by me) ,it sat on my shelf for a bit because I wasn't sure when (or if) I'd be in the right mood to get into it. Could I really get hooked on a vampire story?


When last Friday night came along it was blissfully empty of anything to do, and it was windy, rainy, and cold, which seemed the perfect night to start a dark and gothic book. So I bit the (silver) bullet and started it...and immediately was pulled in to a wonderful, exciting, and romantic story. And now? I believe the hype! You can count me among the many Twilight fans (and if you want to give me a Christmas present, the other three books in the series are on my list).


Check out my Goodreads review:


When 17-year-old Bella Swan uproots herself from Phoenix to move to tiny Forks, Washington, the last thing she expects is to become the most popular girl in high school. All the boys in Forks seem to fall head-over-heels for Bella, but only one piques her interest - Edward Cullen, her handsome-but-mysterious biology partner. After fate brings the two together on more than one occasion, Bella becomes obsessed with finding out more about the mysterious Edward, and, in the process, uncovers his dirty little secret - he's a vampire. As their lust for each other deepens and their worlds futher intertwine, Bella and Edward vow to stay together and to fight - even literally - for their love.


I wasn't sure about reading this one at first. All I had heard about the book was that it was about vampires - and the thought immediately turned me off. I like reading about shopaholics and drama queens...why would I want to read about vampires? But I took a chance, and I'm glad I did, because I ended up being hooked from the very first page. I loved how this book was more a love story than anything - a combination of old-fashioned teen lust and star-crossed romance. Like Romeo and Juliet, but with fangs. I also love Stephenie Meyer's pairing of the humorous with the serious. Bella's life is endangered several times throughout the story - but Meyer lightens the mood with plotlines that made me laugh (who knew vampires liked to play baseball? or attend the prom?)


So now I'm sucked in to the series (no pun intended)- and I can't wait to read the next ones

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Updates: How's it going so far?

I'm surprised at how much I've been able to accomplish in just a few short days. I love the fact that this list has given me so many goals to accomplish - I feel such a purpose when I do things now. I'm always thinking of my list and what I can do next! So what have I done so far? Here's the lowdown:
  • This morning I submitted a piece of writing to a contest (#6) here at Duke. The prize in the essay contest is a 10-week lifestyle and fitness makeover with consultations from trainers and nutritionists, and some fitness-related gear and prizes. Cross your fingers for me!
  • Friday night my husband and I had the first of our monthly dates (#65). We dressed ourselves up and headed to Chapel Hill to re-create our first date: dinner at 411 West, followed by drinks and conversation at the West End Wine Bar. Even though we were home by 11:00 to cuddle up with the little guy, we had a great night out. Look - we even took a picture (#33)!
  • At the restaurant, I did a good job of accepting a compliment (#38), when out of nowhere a lady approached our table and told me, "Darling, you look lovely!" That's totally the best kind of compliment - completely unsolicited. Naturally, I blushed like crazy - but instead of brushing it off, I said a simple "Thank You" and told her how nice she was. See - I really am getting the hang of it!
  • I've been reading like crazy whenever I can find a spare moment so that I can get to my goal of reading 50 books before buying any more (#3). So far I'm two books in, and now I'm in the middle of The Kite Runner, which is easily the best book I've read this year, and may make my all-time top 5 list.
  • I also was given (didn't buy it!) a copy of Twilight (#71)...have to start on that one next to see what all the fuss is about.
  • I've been watching the news regularly (#58), and learned that I won't be purchasing my matching undies (#50) from Victoria's Secret!
  • Guess who's cooking Thanksgiving dinner? (#81)
  • I've also started planning ahead for a couple of my bigger challenges. My college buddy (and junior year roomie) Sam has offered to be my virtual training buddy for a race (#28). Our goal is to compete in a half or full marathon next summer - and to have fun and catch up in the process (#68). Stay tuned to see how it goes!
  • Mom and I have also been discussing our road tripping options (#69). One of the possibilities: A weekend in NYC (#48).

It definitely feels like things are starting to come together! Want to help me with one of my other challenges! Let me know!!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

So, how'd I make the list?

The responses from everyone who knows that I'm doing this have been overwhelmingly positive. Everyone seems to want to make their own list, too. And they all want to know how I came up with the 101 items that I did. So here's why I chose what I did:

Things I've wanted/intended to do for awhile but I've kept putting off
These would be things like reading the classics (#12), writing more (#4, #5, #6), watching movies (#57) and decluttering (#15). We're definitely busy around my house, and these things seem to be the most easily pushed aside because, "I don't have time." But I'm tired of making that excuse. So instead, I'm making time to do them.

Things that really challenge me
These are the tasks that will take some planning and considerable motivation to complete, and which might require a significant push from myself (and others) for me to be able to do them. Truthfully, the thought of doing some of these things scares me: competing in a race (#28) seems a bit daunting, as does taking an active role in my family's finances (#30) -- I can hardly balance a checkbook! And I'm more than a little intimidated by doing things like looking people straight in the eye (#40), conversing with strangers (#60), and saying "no" more often (#59). So why'd I put them on the list? Because I didn't want this 101 challenge to be easy -- it's a challenge! If I do them, I'll be better for it. And if I don't quite succeed - at least I tried!

Things that bring out my adventurous side
When your everyday routine starts to feel a little blah, you need some adventure! Doing something physically adventurous (#45), visiting a foreign country (#42), and visiting a fortune teller (#75) are so far from my everyday, somewhat mundane routine that they'll definitely shake things up a little bit. And, with any luck, inspire me to seek out even bigger adventures. Even things like trying new restaurants (#77) and new cuisines (#8) help break some of the monotony.

Fun stuff!
Because I wouldn't be doing any of this in the first place if I didn't think it would be fun, I had to have some purely fun tasks on my list, like road tripping with my mom (#69), a weekend in NYC (#48), and taking cooking classes (#9). I've done all of them before, but I enjoyed them -- so it's time to do them again!

Fillers
Coming up with 101 tasks was quite a task in itself - so, yes, some of the things on this list are fillers! I searched other peoples' 101 lists, the great list from Glamour called "30 Things Every Woman Should Know Before She's 30," and did a Google search of other "Life To Do" lists in order to find some fun things that I really hadn't thought of including. Things like going to the symphony (#22), finding a signature fragrance (#18), and going to a professional sporting event (#41) are definitely all things that I've thought about at some point, but they were never priorities. They still might not be priorities, but at least they're on the radar. And they may be just what I need to do to give me the encouragement and confidence to try something even bigger and more demanding. At the very least, I will have fun and smell good.

So there's the lowdown! And for all of you who have told me "I should make a list too" - DO IT!! I dare you! And if you want to snag some of my tasks, feel free -- we can even do them together.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

The FULL List

Start date: November 6, 2008
End date: August 12, 2011

1. Donate something (goods, money, time) to a different charity each month (0/33)
2. Make a list of 25 things I like about myself, and 25 things I want to improve about myself. Keep it in my purse to look at on days when I’m feeling low or inspired to change.
3. Read 50 of the books on my ever-growing bookshelf before I purchase any more (though I can still trade books, accept them from people giving them to me, or use gift cards…because those things expire, you know!) (0/50)
4. Write at least 36 articles on Helium.com (that’s a little over 1 article per month of my challenge). The one article I’ve written on there is the top-rated in its category, but it has been nearly a year, and I haven’t written any more. I won’t be afraid! (0/36)
5. Write at least 2 short stories. Even if no one reads them. (0/2)
6. Submit at least 5 pieces of writing for publication or a contest (0/5)
7. Learn to drive a stick shift
8. Try at least 3 different kinds of cuisine I’ve never eaten before. (0/3)
9. Take at least 10 cooking classes. (0/10)
10. Learn to be unafraid of expressing my opinion, even if someone else doesn’t agree with me. What I think and feel counts for something too!
11. Find a job that challenges me intellectually, creatively, socially, and emotionally.
12. Read 10 of the classics that have been gathering dust on my bookshelf: The Grapes of Wrath, Gone With the Wind, The Fountainhead, Jane Eyre, Anna Karenina, O Pioneers, The Good Earth, All the King’s Men, The Big Sleep, and To Kill A Mockingbird (ok, so TKAM is my favorite book ever, but it’s worthy of being read again!) (0/10)
13. Embrace my natural hair color! Salon blonde is becoming way too expensive and too much upkeep. I’d rather use the money for something else! But this doesn’t mean I can’t splurge on great salon haircuts (they’re cheaper than highlights!) ;)
14. Put at least $10/month in my piggy bank. Use the money for something special.
15. Declutter – my closet, my kitchen, my office, my son’s closet, my attic, my car. Donate what I don’t use to charity (see #1)
16. Institute a new shopping policy: If I want something, I must wait 1 week. I must ask how it fits into my life. If I still want/need/can’t stop thinking about it after one week, I can purchase.
17. No impulse purchases exceeding the amount of cash in my wallet. If I have to debit it, I have to think about it first.
18. Find a signature fragrance that I love to wear. Every woman needs a signature scent!
19. Find an attractive, stylish, functional purse that I love and can carry everywhere. Get rid of all the other purses cluttering my closet! (See #15)
20. Attend a play
21. Attend a ballet
22. Attend a symphony concert
23. Attend a rock concert (and dance like no one’s watching me!)
24. Attend a free arts event
25. Learn to do 50 pushups on my toes without stopping. So far I’m only up to 25
26. Spend more time with my grandparents. They are amazing, and I’m lucky to still have them here.
27. Visit 5 historical monuments. Pay attention to the tour guide/museum placards/brochures. Learn something from the experience. (0/5)
28. Compete in a race – 5K, triathlon, 10K, biking event, whatever. Train properly for it. Cross the finish line.
29. Visit at least 5 museums. Doesn’t matter what kind. Take my son with me so he can see all kinds of new, interesting, and fascinating things. (0/5)
30. Take an interest in our finances. Know to the penny how much we have in our checking account. Take responsibility for paying bills and helping to pay debt.
31. Buy stock in something. Research it, and make an informed decision.
32. Increase my contribution to my retirement fund. Put in the max that I can afford. Investing in myself and my future is important!
33. Take more pictures. Actually get in front of the camera, too!
34. Volunteer.
35. I will reach out to someone I don’t know who looks like they need help – directions, advice, or just someone to talk to. Sometimes we all need someone wiling to help us.
36. Remember peoples’ birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions. Send them a card or email, or call them. It’s nice to be remembered.
37. Give one sincere compliment every day. Sincere being I very genuinely mean it - I'm not just giving a compliment in return for one.
38. Learn to accept a compliment. Even if it's just saying "Thank You.”
39. Read two nonfiction books. Broaden my literary horizons! (0/2)
40. Learn to look people in the eye when I talk to them. My childhood shyness always takes over…I get intimidated by looking people in the eyes. So I never do. Time to change that!
41. Go see a professional, major-league sporting event – baseball, hockey, basketball, doesn’t matter.
42. Visit a foreign country. Even if I just step over the border. I have a passport, but I’ve never used it. High time I did!
43. Eat at a well-known, raved-about, starred restaurant.
44. Learn about another culture from someone who is a part of that culture. Ask lots of questions, and really try to understand.
45. Do something physically adventurous – white water rafting, hiking, mountain climbing, cave diving…you get the idea.
46. Take my parents out to dinner. They’ve done a lot for me, and often I take it for granted.
47. Host a fancy dinner party. I’ve always wanted to. And after all those cooking classes I’m going to be taking (see #9), the food will probably be pretty good!
48. Spend a weekend in New York City.
49. See a Broadway show.
50. Buy a really nice matching bra and underwear. Even if no one else (well, aside from my husband) sees them, I’ll know they’re there. And good undergarments make your clothes look better anyway!
51. Buy at least one nice piece of furniture for my house. On my list of possibilities: a buffet/wine cabinet for my dining room, a headboard/footboard for my bed, a new sofa.
52. Buy at least one big-ticket appliance for my house. On that list of possibilities: a refrigerator, a range, a washer/dryer. Make sure the new appliance is an Energy Star appliance.
53. Make a will. It’s scary, and morbid, and not pleasant to think about, but I have a child now, so I have to.
54. Make at least one environmentally-friendly alteration to my house.
55. Make at least one home improvement without asking for my husband’s help (though I will probably get his advice, solicited or not).
56. Buy something ridiculously expensive for myself. Because I deserve it. And I saved my pennies so I could afford it (see #14). And thought about it for at least a week before I bought it (see #16).
57. See at least 5 of the top-rated movies on IMDB’s list that I’ve never seen before (just for the record, I’ve only seen 31 of these). I will watch these movies undistracted (i.e. no book/magazine), with the volume up.
58. Read/watch/listen to the news every day. Because I get too caught up in my own life sometimes to stop and listen to what’s going on in the world.
59. Say “No” more often. I can’t please everybody. They’ll just have to deal!
60. Have a long conversation with a total stranger.
61. Kick my soda habit for good! I’m down to one a week now. I’d love to be down to none at all.
62. Rid my house of every non-eco-friendly cleaning product that’s left.
63. Plant a tree.
64. Stop caring so much about what people think of me. Do something to really prove to myself that I don’t care.
65. Go on a date with my husband at least once a month. Go on a “date” with my son at least twice a month. (0/33, 0/66)
66. Get a real, professional massage.
67. Make a new friend.
68. Keep in better touch with my old friends.
69. Take a “girls only” road trip with my mom.
70. Get rid of 101 things in my house that I don’t need (0/101)
71. Read the book Twilight, since everyone is making such a fuss about it.
72. Visit a new state
73. Organize a girls’ night and go have fun!
74. Complete an entire newspaper crossword puzzle by myself – no help!
75. Visit a fortune teller or a palm-reader (just because I’ve always been curious)
76. Go wine tasting
77. Try 10 new restaurants in my area (0/10)
78. Be on television!
79. Go see a comedy show
80. Host a game night
81. Make Thanksgiving dinner for my entire family
82. Buy a Christmas present for a child in need
83. Make one day per month TV free (0/33)
84. Make one day per month Internet free (0/33)
85. Expand my garden to grow more veggies and herbs
86. Bake a cake from scratch for a special occasion
87. Go to a vintage car race with my husband
88. Go to a formal event. Buy a pretty dress for the occasion.
89. Donate blood
90. Take a ballroom dance class
91. Surprise at least 5 people with something that makes me think of them (0/5)
92. Take my son to Wake Forest, so he can see where Mommy went to school
93. Build a snowman with my son
94. Do something kind for a stranger
95. Teach someone how to do something new
96. Go running on the beach
97. Surprise my husband with a full homemade dinner (including bread and dessert)
98. Organize my photographs.
99. Put $1 for each goal accomplished within 1001 days into my piggy bank
100. Donate $5 for each goal not accomplished within 1001 days to a worthy cause
101. Make a new 101 list when this one’s done!

And I'm off!

Challenge Number One: Find 101 Tasks!

So this is more like the 102 in 1001 challenge, because task #1 is finding 101 things to accomplish! I've been muddling over this for a day now and my grand total of tasks is a measly 35! My challenge officially starts when I have 101 on the list (and I'm open to suggestions!)

Welcome to my 101!

I found out about this challenge from a message board one of my favorite websites, Goodreads. It seems a person posting on the board was challenging herself to finish 300 books during her 1001 days and was coming up on the end of her challenge with quite a bit more to read. I was intrigued...I'd love to challenge myself to read a bunch of books! And to do some other stuff! Maybe if I throw down the gauntlet to myself and put it in writing where everyone can see it (and harass me if I don't do it!) I might be able to accomplish quite a bit. So I Googled the 101 in 1001 challenge, and found this site. I'm in!

My life's been feeling hectic, crazy, and all out-of-sorts lately. I'm iffy about my job, and feel like everything's kinda messy, for lack of a better term. I rarely slow down, it seems. And while I love being a wife and mother more than anything, I feel sometimes like I've lost sight of something kind of important in all of our daily chaos -- myself. I want to find out who I am again, and to make that person better. I want to be unafraid of doing things that I've always wanted to do. I want to be in control and declutter my life and learn to be proud of myself again. So here it goes! Think I can do it? We're all about to find out...